Another thing we find common is to ask for gift cards to the stores where you like to shop. It is great if you can just have your bridal party spread the word. For showers and other events when people plan to give gifts, make sure the hosts know your choices of stores and to request gift cards. You can then consolidate them to get the true items you want.

The funny thing about registering for gifts and spreading the word is that it is considered rude to tell people where they should shop and what they should buy. But, once they have the information, people are mostly happy to know they are getting something the bride and groom will be happy with. So, just know it is only managing the process that is tricky, not the gift giving itself.

Married couples (with different last names): Connect the names with an "and". You can choose to use titles or not use titles depending on how formal your reception is. Example: Mr. Samuel Johnson and Ms. Mary Hanson or Samuel Johnson and Mary Hanson. Note, though Ms. is not a proper form of etiquette, if you write Mrs. Mary Hanson it is an indication that she is divorced. And, to keep things complicated, she wouldn't be Mrs. Mary Hanson, she would be Mrs. Mary Johnson.

Non-married couples: Eliminate the "and". Example: Mr. Samuel Johnson (on the next line) Ms. Mary Hanson. Again, choose to use titles or not.

• Save the ribbons for your "bouquet at the rehearsal.” There is an alternative to this old tradition, there is a sweet lace umbrella, about 10 inches in diameter with decorative ribbons, each of your guests can sign a ribbon. It makes a much more elegant “bouquet” than with the ribbons from the presents!
  
  
• Use "Cake Pulls" Each of your guests can pull a small charm from a cake. Each represents a good wish, wealth, children, security, travel, next to get married, and more.
  
  
• Open Presents!

You may include a gift at any time, however, make sure to note where the reply is being sent - often the reply goes to the parents so it is preferred if the greeting/gift is separate and sent directly to the bride and groom. If you do not know the address for the bride and groom, put an envelope (money gift) in with the reply with a request to forward that along to the bride and groom. If sending a physical gift, you may also request the parent forwards this along.

If you say The Smith Family, or Mr. and Mrs. Smith and Family you are opening the invitation to all members of the family (children or others who are living in the household)

We realize many people will bring children and/or guests no matter what is addressed on the envelope.

In response to this situation, some of our clients have chosen the following options:

• Add a foot note or an extra small card that states, "Invitees only please"
  
  
• Invite the guests for "cocktails" or a specified activity that it is not something kids would participate in.
  
  
• Include an extra card that says something like, "We hope to include your whole family in another event, this is for the adults only." You may also exchange adults for invitees.
  
  

Again, "proper" etiquette is addressing the invitation to whom it is you wish to attend your event and recipients of the invitation responding accordingly.

I wish I could find a clever way to tell you this, but it is inappropriate to put registry information on a wedding invitation, or in the wedding invitation envelope. Although this has been done, we would recommend the following other options.

• Letters and Invitations: If you are sending any of the following correspondence a mention of a registry is appropriate.
  
  
• Save the Date - in advance of the invitation for your guests to reserve the weekend of your wedding.
  
  
• Friends and Family - with details about travel to the wedding and other related wedding events, or outings.
  
  
• Shower or other invitations.
  
  
• Personal web sites. These are now very popular and your guests will appreciate being able to access this information.

You can also use these communications to tell people you just bought a home and a little bit about your plans. People love to feel included and to know your plans. Sharing the information will assure that people feel involved and will have a sense of where their money would be going. They will then be more likely to give gift certificates to Home Depot or where ever you request.

Remember when you write your thank you notes, especially to those that give a gift certificate, tell them what you used their money for. Even if you combined multiple gift cards to buy one new kitchen sink, they only need to know what their money paid for. People feel good about thinking there is an item in your home they bought or contributed to. It also can make thank you notes easy, you can send the same message to almost everyone that gave you a gift certificate, in reference to what you bought. Well, be careful with family, they may compare notes...

We wouldn't usually recommend sending a printed invitation to an event where you expect people to pay their own bill. This should be a verbal invitation with a discussion about anticipated costs. Due to the nature of such a special occasion you want to announce the graduation and invite people to share your day with you.

We recommend that you keep the invitation special, important and simple without including a lot of additional items such as direction cards, menu cards and other extraneous information. So, we would recommend you include the menu and simply put in the bottom right corner of the invitation, See enclosed menu for your anticipated costs. And on the left, the reply.

Additionally, please call the restaurant ahead with a reservation and prepare them with your plans for everyone to pay their own bill.

If there is information on the graduation ceremony that is relevant to attendees be sure to include that.

If your wedding is on a holiday weekend, you should send it out at least 6 months in advance, we would encourage earlier.

The following details must be included: names, the date and the city.

Additional details may include some or all of the following: All of the weekend activities, rehearsal dinner, bridesmaids/ladies lunch, golf matches, luncheons, sunday brunch.

The more you have going on and the more you share that information the more likely people are to come. Some of these items are: Area hotels, Airport info, Transportation (if they will need a car or if you are handling it). If you are arranging any transportation you want to let them when, where from, where to.

You can include registry information in this document as well.

Finally, you want to give contact information. Be sure to include phone, email, and physical address.

If you will bear with my wording here... Typically following the ceremony is a one hour "reception." This is when the bride and bridal party take pictures if the bride is not seeing the groom before the wedding, or when there is a reception line for congratulations. Drinks and appetizers are served then and there is often a trio or small group playing background music. Many times the band will have a few of their members play the extra hour for a small additional fee. Following the reception is the "party" or sit down dinner, whether served or buffet style. Taking your group into the second space gives the wait staff time to set up the tables and space to move the ceremony chairs around the tables. Guests are usually understanding of being told where to go. Hopefully, you have friends or help that will take that responsibility ahead of time so they are ready and can quickly get to work making the turnover happen.

Following the "M" you should write the full name representing you and your husband, or who ever you may be taking. So "M" r. and Mrs. George C. Scott, Jr. You should include the full name or the name as you and your husband like to have your name written. If you are taking a guest it would be: "M"s. Sally Smith, Mr. Jonathan C. Doe. You only use an and between the names if you are married.

If that is not an option, then communicate your change in plans as soon as possible. They may be able to still cancel the costs related to your attending (i.e. dinners, favors etc.)

Good luck with your decision.